HOW TO TALK TO YOURSELF
by Carlos Warter, M.D., Ph.D.
When we become aware of our story lines -- the things we tell ourselves to keep from moving forward -- we can use affirmations to make our mental chatter more fluid.
Affirmations counteract negative story lines with positive words and feelings. They have the power to instantly cut through negative self-talk and take us into a place where we can know our inner light.
For example, when something goes wrong, we may say, "This just proves how stupid I am -- I can never do anything right!" To increase awareness, you could use an affirmation such as, "Everything I do works out perfectly, regardless of minor setbacks." After repeating this, your mind-set will change, and you'll be able to adjust your story line to something like, "Well, I really blew it that time, but I'll figure out what happened, make some adjustments, and try again!"
Here are some other possibilities for changing what you say to yourself: When you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about someone else, you can say, "May I accept all beings as they are," instead of "If only he would meditate, he'd be all right."
When you find yourself thrown off center by a situation, you can say, "May I be undisturbed by the comings or goings of events," instead of "I must be getting old. I just can't take change anymore."
When you find yourself completely fixated in a disagreement, you can say, "Isn't this funny?" instead of, "If I don't get out of this room right now, I'm going to die."
When you find yourself unable to go on, you can say, "I have come a long way and I will keep going, step by step," instead of, "There's no way I can finish this job today."
When you find yourself beset by anxiety and helplessness about someone else's well-being, you can say, "I care for you deeply, but I cannot keep you from suffering," instead of "I'm a terrible parent (or friend)."
When you find that you feel guilty because someone else depends on you and you can't satisfy their expectations, you can say, "I wish you happiness but I cannot make your choices for you," instead of, "I'm sorry, I guess I'm a selfish person. My mother always said so. Anyway, I just don't know how to help."
When you find yourself pierced by guilt and blame, you can say, "Today marks a turning point in my life," instead of "Why do I always screw everything up?"
When you want something that seems impossible to have, you can say, "I have everything I need to be happy," rather than, "I am such a dunce -- I never plan ahead."
Once you begin experimenting with positive self-talk, you'll see that it has an almost infinite variety of forms. And like the sun, moon, and stars, it has a curious ability to connect you with the brightness in yourself and others.
excerpt from 'Pathways to the Soul:
101 Ways to Open Your Heart' by Carlos Warter
© published by Hay House Inc.